St Bartholomew's Church Wednesbury
  • Home
  • Services
  • BIBLE READINGS
  • Prayers
  • Weekly Notices
  • Contact Us
  • Safeguarding
  • Bookings
  • Baptisms
  • Weddings
  • Funerals
  • Church Hall
  • Newsletters
  • Craft Club
  • Bell Ringing
  • Open Table Lunch Club
  • Photo of the Week
  • Events
  • Fundraising
  • Parish of Wednesbury
  • History
  • Features and Facilities
  • Gallery
  • CHRISTMAS 2020
  • OTB
Picture
​If you need help with bereavement, mental health, advice on services for the blind, the Coronavirus support group, caring for carers (Sandwell Crossroads), etc, please go to the additional notices below these Weekly Notices – they are immediately after the prayer.

​​Weekly Notices (28th May-4th June)
(These notices are updated regularly.)
Please pass on any relevant information from the notices this week to people you know who will find it of some use. There are hyperlinks to the relevant website pages and Facebook pages to help you find them.  
  • If you need to contact Fr Mark to ask for prayers for loved ones who are ill or have died, please use the form on the Contact Us page of the website. The form will be submitted to Fr Mark's email inbox. The page has a telephone number too.  Alternatively, use the Message link on Facebook so that I can add names to the prayer list on the website and Facebook  (https://www.facebook.com/StBartsWednesbury/).  
  • Each week Fr Mark prepares a Spiritual Communion Service sheet for those who are not able attend services which you can find on the Services page.​
CHURCH NEWS
Picture
​Sunday services are at 9 am and 10 am in church. ​​​​
​When m
idweek services are on, they will be held in the Vicarage until further notice, unless advised otherwise.​ PLEASE NOTE: there are no midweek services during week commencing 29th May.
Picture

Congratulations to Jennifer Stanley, Sharon Drinkwater and Darren Drinkwater on being confirmed by the Rt Revd Paul Thomas, Bishop of Oswestry, at Saint Michael’s Church in Tividale on Sunday 21st May.  We wish you a life full of faith and love. May you be blessed in all that you do. May God bless you with true happiness and hear you as you pray. 
Picture

​ANNUAL PAROCHIAL CHURCH MEETING

The APCM was held during the service on Sunday 21st May. The annual reports were available on the day and the pdf file below is a copy of them. 
apcm_documents_2023.pdf
File Size: 713 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File


​On Friday 16th June, there will be a special evening of song and spoken word in our church. This is part of the Wednesbury Day celebrations. The event is FREE but you must book a ticket.  You can use the link shown at the bottom of the flyer (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/doomsday-a-wednesbury-reckoning-tickets-630086364277) or this link.
Picture

PRAYERS AND READINGS ROTA – is anybody willing to help? We are very grateful to a small group of people who help with the readings and prayers each Sunday. However, is anybody else willing to go on the rota, please, so that people will have fewer dates to cover?  The rota is completed up to the end of July but Wendy will be doing the rota for August to October towards the end of June/early July, so could you contact her please, using the message facility on our Facebook page, if you would like to offer your help? Use this link to go to that website.
​
THANK YOU  We continue to be very grateful to Keith for his wonderful work on the church gardens, particularly along the path up to church. It really is a beautiful welcome to people attending church
​​

NEWSLETTER: Thank you to Alison for compiling the newsletters. You can access them using this link.
​
PLEASE NOTE: there will be some community events over the next few months - please refer to the 'Dates for your Diary' section and/or 'News from Sandwell' section lower down these notices.  These will be updated regularly. ​
​
PLEASE NOTE: If you are struggling with the cost of living or are suffering from abuse of any kind, please refer to the 'News from Sandwell' section  lower down these notices.
RECYCLING: A reminder that we still collect spectacles and emptied tablet blister packs - please place them in the relevant boxes in church. More information in the section about recycling lower down the notices.
FOOD BANK: For information, see the separate section lower down these notices.

​Do, please, scroll through the other notices below to read items of interest to you. The types of news are separated to make it easier to find what you want.
​​NEWS FROM THE BIBLE SOCIETY​​​​
  1. Experience Psalm 27 at Tatton Park: Just as at RHS Chelsea Flower Show 2021, the Bible Society will have a Bible-based garden on show at RHS Tatton Park. You can visit the Psalm 27 Garden at the show from Wednesday 19th July to Sunday 23rd July. For more information link use this link.​​
  2. ​​Read the Bible in dyslexia-friendly editions: Six years ago, the Bible Society published the first dyslexia-friendly gospel, making God's word available to more people. A further 17 editions of biblical books are now available, along with that initial Good News Bible Gospel of Mark, all following the formatting principles of the British Dyslexia Association. Key features of the books are such things as: short paragraphs; increased line spacing; larger typeface, cream-coloured paper rather than bright white; paper that has high opacity so very little text shows through from the next page; and paper that has a matt finish rather than gloss, limiting reflection. To see what is available, use this link.  
  3. ​​​​​Used stamps wanted: Did you know the Bible Society can raise money from used stamps? Please send your used stamps to Bible Society, Stamp Appeal, Post Room, Stonehill Green, Westlea, Swindon SN5 7DG.  ​
  4. Read about people’s reasons to believe in the power of the Bible. Use this link.​​
OPEN TABLE LUNCH CLUB
The lunch is only once a month and the next one is on Saturday 17th June

If you haven't done so already, can you contact Joyce, please, to let her know you will be attending? If you are unable to contact her, please use the Message service on our Facebook page and I will let her know.  You can use the following link: www.facebook.com/StBartsWednesbury.​

​For details and photos about previous lunch events, please use this link to go to the Open Table Lunch Club page.
​
The lunch on Saturday 20th May was very busy with 40 people receiving a meal. Thank you to everybody who prepared, cooked and served the food. It was particularly busy because there were fewer volunteers to help to provide meals for everyone. Great job - well done. Looks delicious.
NEWS FROM THE CRAFT CLUB
​

The next meeting will be on Saturday 3rd June. Lynn and Mario won't be there so I would be grateful if somebody could help me with the refreshments on the day. Look forward to seeing you then. 
​
Please see the post about a Wednesbury Day craft exhibition. Either go to our Craft Club page using this link or  look lower down these notices, under 'Dates for your Diary'.

YARN BOMBING WEEKEND IN SANDWELL VALLEY
Saturday 10th June and Sunday 11th June 2023
​

They are asking if you want to knit/crochet/get crafty with yarn. If so, take in your own motif to the Visitor Centre by Friday 9th June for them to hang up on a Yarn Bombing Trail. For more information and to book your slot over the weekend, use this link.
Picture
​For previous news and photos, please go to the Craft Club page, using this link. ​
DATE/S FOR YOUR DIARY
WEDNESBURY DAY
Saturday 17th June
 
There will be a number of events going on during Wednesbury Day. One event on that day involves craft groups. There will be a display of items made by crafters to show the range of crafts being done and the talents of Wednesbury people; this will be in the Library. There will be some people working on their crafts during the day. If you would like to have your crafts involved on the day, please contact Ruby Lewis (see the poster below that she has created).
 
On the previous evening there will be a free performance of ‘Doomsday – A Wednesbury Reckoning’ by Multistory to be held in St Bartholomew’s Church. You will need to book a place if you would like to go. (See separate post and flyer about this below.)
 
I will post more news about Wednesbury Day (especially the times) once I hear further from Multistory. 
Picture
On Friday 16th June, there will be a special evening of song and spoken word in our church. This is part of the Wednesbury Day celebrations. The event is FREE but you must book a ticket.  You can use the link shown at the bottom of the flyer (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/doomsday-a-wednesbury-reckoning-tickets-630086364277) or this link.
Picture
Picture

​Other events can be seen under the 'News from Sandwell' and 'Church News' sections, as well as 'Open Table Lunch Club' and 'Craft Club' sections, etc.
​

NEWS FROM SANDWELL
To find out what's on in Sandwell, generally, click on this link.
Arts and Crafts Community of Wednesbury Uk meets twice a week - Mondays 9.30 am to 11.00 am in South Staffs Water Hub, Union Street, and on Thursdays 11.00 am to 1.00 pm in the Library. Take along whatever craft you're working on either or both days and enjoy a cuppa and some friendly chat whilst you're crafting. To view their Facebook page and to keep up-to-date, use this link.  
Picture
ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH THE COST OF LIVING OR WITH OTHER CONCERNS?
Miscellaneous numbers and information that may be helpful:
Sandwell and Walsall Citizens advice – 0300 330 9017 National Debt Line – 0800 8084000
Age UK - 0300 3031234
Simple Energy Advice Line – 0800 444202 
Crime Stoppers – 0808 1689111
Mental Health Crisis Line – 0800 953 0110
Energy Saving Trust – energysavingtrust.org.uk Sandwell Council – 0121 569 2200
Sandwell Council Tax – 0121 368 1155 

NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE! ​Abuse takes many different forms. It can be emotional, physical, sexual or financial. It can be inflicted by anyone. It can take place anywhere, in person or online. It can be words, actions, or both.  BUT, it’s not normal. It’s not your fault. It’s not ok. If you have experienced abuse of any kind, support is available.  If you think you know someone who has experienced abuse, look to the 'CLOUDS' to help get the conversation started:
C - curiosity (open questions)
L - listen to them
O - open body language
U - understand them 
D - avoid distractions
S - support from Black Country Women's Aid
For more information, support and advice, head over to the Black Country Women's Aid website, using this link. ​​
WARM SPACES IN WEDNESBURY: There are a number of places in Wednesbury offering a warm space such as those used by the craft group mentioned above and mentioned below.
Picture
The following sessions are on Thursdays. Everyone is welcome:
Picture

​SANDWELL'S NEIGHBOURHOOD PARTNERSHIPS:
Picture
DONATE YOUR UNWANTED FURNITURE:

Sandwell Council and its waste partner Serco are asking residents to consider donating household furniture and electrical items when clearing out their homes. Sandwell Council and Serco are supporting Community Transport Furniture, an arm of the National Community Transport charity, which raises funds to provide door to door transport for the most vulnerable in our communities.  
  
The charity sells furniture, electricals and other household items that are still in a useable and working condition to help pay for their transportation charity work.  
You can arrange a free collection by Community Transport Furniture via email using this link or by phone on 0121 520 8168.  
You can drop off unwanted items to the Community Transport Furniture store in Kings Square, West Bromwich, B70 7NW or you can drop off unwanted items to the Community Transport Furniture van located at the Sandwell Council Household Recycling Centre (Tip) in Oldbury.   
(Donations include: sofas and suites; tables and chairs; beds and bedroom furniture; washing machines/dryers; cookers and small electrical items; desks; office chairs; bookcases; shelving and filing cabinets.)
Donated items will need to comply with legal requirements, which includes any upholstered furniture having fire safety labels attached and should be in a reasonable, reusable condition.  
Picture
FOOD BANK
If you wish to donate any tinned/packet foods to help those who really need them, you can bring them to church or take them to the Food Bank in Wednesbury. Their usual opening times are Wednesday 10 am to 3 pm and Friday 1 pm to 7 pm. Joyce Turner is our contact if you require more information. Please see the list below for details of items and food needed. Thank you. 
Picture
​​​BOOKINGS​:
  1. To book a wedding or baptism, please use the form on the Contact Us page using this link. The message will go directly to Fr Mark's email inbox. There is a telephone number on that page too. You can find extra information about church weddings using this link and for baptisms use this link.
  2. To book the church hall, please go to the Bookings page where you will find a form to complete to contact Linda Russell.  You can use this link to go to that page.
  3. Please contact Fr Mark if you wish to book for floodlighting the steeple.  Use this link and complete the Contact Us form.
  4. Any other queries, please go to the Facebook page and send a Message using the Message button. Wendy will advise you further.​
​​WHAT'S ON IN THE CHURCH HALL?
We have a number of activities going on in the Church Hall. Occasionally, people go to the church thinking the hall is there but it is at the bottom of Church Hill and there is parking at the rear.  See the image below - all of these activities take place in the hall.  For further details and times about the activities, please use this  link to go to the Church Hall page where you will find a pdf file or you can open the pdf file below.  ​
whats_on_at_st_barts_hall.pdf
File Size: 516 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

Picture
COMMUNITY CHOIR
Picture
Suzie runs 2 sessions in church each Monday, 5 pm to 6 pm and 6 pm to 7 pm. Having 2 sessions means she can accommodate people working different times in the week. If you are interested in joining the choir, you can attend either or both of those times for the same price. Please contact her for more information by email suzie195@hotmail.co.uk or by telephone 07592 576053
WEDNESBURY FELLOWSHIP FOR THE DISABLED
Picture
CITIZENS ADVICE
Picture
RECYCLING AT CHURCH

​TERRACYCLE®
Every year, empty blister packs end up in landfill sites. The Medicine Packet Recycling Programme is asking for our help to recycle our blister pack waste. The waste we collect will help to raise money for charitable causes as well as helping the environment. Lynn Castillo has put a box in church for us to pop in any empty blister packs we have. Help us to help the environment and charitable causes. If you wish to know more or want to collect these packs (and other waste) yourself, visit https://www.terracycle.com/en-GB/ to find out more.

​RECYCLING OF SPECTACLES
Thank you to all of you who have filled the box in church with old spectacles. Lynn will be handing these over to the local Lions group to be sent to Chichester Lions Club to distribute to places where they are in need of them (see information below). 
Picture
Picture

​WE ARE STILL COLLECTING SPECTACLES
​
Lions Clubs throughout the UK collect unwanted and damaged spectacles. These are then sent to Chichester Lions Club which processes tens of thousands of recycled spectacles each year. All donations are examined by a team from Lions and other volunteers in the recycling workshop. Sorted pairs of glasses may then be sent for grading and distribution by Medico France in Le Havre. Glasses are also sent directly to contacts running eye clinics in Papua New Guinea, Sri Lanka, Ghana, Nigeria, and Nepal. In addition, volunteers from the ‘Unite for Sight’ charity are supplied with spectacles to take with them on missions to countries across the world.
We have a box in church into which you can leave your old and unused spectacles.​ Thank you to Lynn Castillo for organising this. 

Picture
LIONS 'MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE'
This is a very simple idea and it saves the Emergency Services valuable time if they need to enter a property (especially when that person lives alone, has passed out or is confused). The scheme is primarily focussed on vulnerable people in the community but anyone can have an accident in the home so the scheme can benefit anybody. You receive a small plastic tube, like this, which you keep in the fridge.
Inside the tube, is a form on which you can write basic personal and medical details that the Emergency Services can use when called out to the home.  Not only does it help to identify who you are, it also identifies if you have special medication or allergies. (The form also includes details of relatives.) It could be a potential lifesaver. Also inside the tube are 2 stickers. You put one sticker on the fridge door and the other on the inside of the house door. This shows the Emergency Services that you have this 'bottle' in the home. You may find these displayed in local GP surgeries and local pharmacies but, if not, use the Message facility on our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/StBartsWednesbury) and Wendy will pass on your contact details to Lynn who will order some from Lions. ​
URGENT NOTICE

ST BARTHOLOMEW’S CHURCH NEEDS YOU​
Picture
Do you know or remember the promises that were made to Jesus when you were baptised?

In 1961, the US President John F Kennedy, spoke some challenging words at his inauguration: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

Likewise, our nation's churches are asking you to consider the question, "Ask not what your Church can do for you, ask what YOU can do for your church."

Many of us, if we’re honest, have felt a sort of hesitation about going to church. In those moments or seasons, it doesn’t take much to stop us, such as: the weather; a sore throat; a looming work deadline on Monday, etc. Your church needs you to be there, and you need your church to be there for you.

For centuries St Bartholomew's Church has been there for the people of Wednesbury and beyond. It has been there when you have needed it most in your life, whether it be a bereavement, a baptism or a wedding.

Some people attend church for certain services only such as Christmas or Easter. Very often however, those people are very rarely seen again afterwards.

In many churches now, congregational size is small with only a few faithful people willing to work hard to keep churches going. So, if you want the church to continue to be there for you when you need it, are you willing to attend more regularly?

Financially, too, churches are suffering. With a small congregation, very few people are contributing each week. Most churches have congregations who generously pay a monthly standing order to ensure some funds are available to keep the church running.

Like so many other churches, St Bartholomew's Church has bills to pay, whether people attend church or not. Would you consider, therefore, in making a financial contribution on a regular basis? (
Please use the message facility on our Facebook page and I will advise you further. Use this link to access the page.)

Are you also able to perhaps offer some time to help keep the church running efficiently. Your help could mean that St Bartholomew's Church is there for generations to come but, more importantly for the moment, to enable the church to be available when you need it the most?

Our main Sunday morning worship is at 10 am. We hope you will join us for that.

God bless you.

OTHER NEWS

​ONLINE BULLYING AND ABUSE:

One of the negative impacts of the lock-downs and students spending so much time on their devices over the last 3 years, is that online and social media abuse has increased. If you are concerned about this, the NSPCC has some brilliant advice and resources, including how to report instances of online bullying and what to do to support your children. Please visit this site to find out more. https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/online-abuse/ 
​
​RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS:

Random Acts of Kindness is a page for the people of Wednesbury. They carry out random acts of kindness in the community and support local businesses (posting job opportunities). In addition, if you have an item (in good condition) that you would like to donate, you can do so through their page. They share information on local charities that need support as well as sharing information about missing pets or people. In fact, they do anything to benefit the community.
Page link
https://www.facebook.com/RAOKW/
Group link
https://www.facebook.com/groups/989374091593957/?ref=share
​
​SHELTER
:
 
Did you know that you can post your unwanted goods to Shelter’s charity shops for free? They are asking us to have a clear out for a good cause.  They accept any second-hand goods in excellent condition, but are especially in need of branded or designer clothes, shoes and accessories as well as jewellery. Their shops are a vital source of income in the fight against homelessness. By donating clothes, you can help protect the planet and raise funds to fight housing injustice.
 
You can use their ‘Sort and Send’ service in 3 steps:
  1. Pack up your goods
  2. Request a freepost label
  3. Send off your parcel, then they will re-home your goods
For more information, use this link.​
​​OFFERTORIES:

Many of our congregation now give their regular offering using a standing order or bank transfer. (Please see the notice below.)  It's still possible to put money on the plate when you enter or leave church if you prefer. With many banks having closed some of their branches (and this has happened in Wednesbury) more and more people are now using other methods of payment. It helps us, especially our Treasurer, to avoid contact with a lot of cash.

​REGULAR GIVING - sorry, we hate to ask for money but ...
​
​
​All businesses have suffered financially since the start of the pandemic and we, as a church, are no exception.
If you make your contribution electronically, thank you. It is very much appreciated. If you haven’t already done this, then please consider it as it helps us to ensure both our sustainability as a church and, importantly, to ensure its future also. We still need to pay bills to maintain our beautiful church. Some of those bills are huge. Without income, we may not survive for much longer. Imagine your parish church not being available for baptisms, weddings or funerals. It doesn't bear thinking about. 

Therefore, please consider making a weekly or monthly contribution electronically. May we suggest 3 ways you can contribute to our finances:
(1) Set up a weekly or monthly standing order.*
(2) Do a weekly or monthly bank transfer.*
(3) Set aside whatever sum you wish to give each week and bring to church services.

* If you choose to use Options (1) or (2) please send a private message through the Message facility on Facebook (www.facebook.com/StBartsWednesbury)  and I will let you have the Bank details to enable you to set up a standing order or bank transfer. If you do not use Facebook, please complete the form on the 'Contact Us' page and ask the vicar for details. 
To enable our Treasurer to recognise regular giving, can you use the reference ‘Collection’ so that she can ensure money is accounted for correctly.
If you would like to make a donation, then please use the reference 'Donation' as it will need to be accounted for differently.
​

​Thank you.
​
​We pray that you stay safe.
The Lord bless us and watch over us;
The Lord make his face to shine upon us
and be gracious to us;
The Lord look kindly upon us and give us peace. Amen
​​

​End of current Weekly Notices
-----------------------------------------------------

​
PREVIOUS NOTICES THAT MIGHT BE USEFUL TO YOU

​DO YOU NEED HELP OR SUPPORT?
​
​PLEASE CHECK OUT WHAT IS AVAILABLE IN THE ITEMS BELOW
:

​ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH BEREAVEMENT
?:  
A useful resource is available on the 'At a Loss' website.  Use this link to find out more.  It is a useful resource to direct grieving people who need support.​ ​​
​
MENTAL HEALTH:

Don’t forget to look after yourself and reach out to friends and family who might need your support. Check out this blog using the link, which has 5 tips to support mental health. The "Parents' Toolkit" on BBC Bitesize has advice for parents. Use this link to have a look.  Also, "BBC Own It" can help children manage their wellbeing online. Please use this link to check it out.

The Church of England has published resources to help those who seek hope, reassurance and comfort at this time. They can be accessed at: https://www.churchofengland.org/faith-action/mental-health-resources/supporting-good-mental-health/supporting-good-mental-health. 
​
Additional help and advice is also available from the Mental Health Foundation website at: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/.
​
​SERVICES FOR THOSE WHO ARE BLIND, PEOPLE WHO DO NOT USE THE INTERNET AND THOSE WHO ARE ANXIOUS: 
  • Church of England’s Dial-in Worship Line: The Church of England launched a dial-in worship service at the end of April where you can access hymns, reflections and prayers. This is useful for anybody who doesn’t use a computer, is blind or for those who feel lonely and isolated. The telephone number is 0800 8048044 (don’t worry, this is a free number so it won’t cost you anything, no matter how long you are on the call). Please pass on this information to anybody you feel will find this useful. You can read about it on the website links, as follows:
  • ​​BBC Radio 4 If you’re not already aware, Radio 4 is broadcasting each day a ‘Thought for the day’. So if you know somebody who does not have a computer or who is blind, please pass on this information. It’s a great way of connecting to faith. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00szxv6​
  • Diocesan Digest Sound Magazine If you know somebody who is blind and who might benefit from this service, can you tell them please? If they would like to receive the Diocesan Digest they need to contact Lichfield Cathedral by telephone or email, as follows: Tel: 01543 306030 | 07986 954 859, Email: soundmag@lichfield-cathedral.org  You can also access the May issue of the Diocesan Digest using the following weblink: http://www.bwbf.org.uk/player/?url=http://www.bwbf.org.uk/localtns/lichfieldcathedral/TOPD_playlist.pls

​CORONAVIRUS SUPPORT GROUP: There is a support group in Wednesbury to help those have to self isolate or at high risk. They are local residents offering help such as walking dogs, running errands, phone calls, etc. You can contact them in 3 ways. Details are:
  • 'Wednesbury Coronovirus Support Group' on Facebook - you can use this link to access it.
  • Call 07597 142161 or 07925 150323 between 9 am and 5 pm
  • or email wednesburyassist@outlook.com​


​​PREVIOUS NOTICES YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN
:
​THANK YOU - to Mario and Lynn Castillo for making this HOPE display for church.  It's beautiful and is such a wonderful message to see as you enter church.  The wording across the letters says:  faith  grace  prayer  truth  forgiveness  thankfulness  generosity  caring  listening  sharing  harmony  friendship  kindness  love  peace.

​MUSIC:  Music can lift our spirits, especially when we are feeling low.  If you have come across any uplifting or  calming music please use the Messenger service to Contact the Administrator (m.me/StBartsWednesbury) in order that she can add it to this list for all to listen to.  You can also send a message to her from our Facebook page using this link.  In the meantime, the following music, which has been on this list since early 2020, is still very enjoyable to listen to. 
  • Over 300 churches from Ireland recorded The Irish Blessing; singing a blessing over Ireland and beyond.  Link 
  • This link is from the Churches of Hawaii called The Hawaii Blessing. It was recorded during the first week of May this year by worship leaders from 25 churches across all 6 major islands of Hawaii.   Link
  • The Tenors - How Great Thou Art (Official Video)  Link
  • If you haven’t watched this YouTube video and heard people from 50 Covid affected countries singing ‘Amazing Grace’ (Abderval Vocal Group Avg), I recommend you click on this link and listen. Be prepared - it’s emotional but, also, uplifting.   Link
  • Link (Acknowledgement: 'Music Meets Heaven' Leeland - Way Maker (Lyrics) https://Leeland.lnk.to/BetterWord)
  • Osinachi Joseph, known professionally as Sinach, is a Nigerian singer, songwriter and senior worship leader at Loveworld. In this video she is performing ‘I Worship You’.  Link (Acknowledgement: Sinach, Way Maker.)​​​
Picture

CHURCH BLOOPERS
A friend emailed these to me and Fr Mark has given his blessing for me to post them on our website and Facebook page.
These sentences appeared in church bulletins in some churches or were announced at church services – not ours! (Thankfully, Wendy and Alison don’t make these types of errors in the church posts and Newsletters). Enjoy.
 
​The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'.  The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. (This is Fr Mark’s favourite one!)
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practising.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 pm, there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet on Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up:
 
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OTHER PREVIOUS NEWS can be found on the Events page or Photo of the Week page.
Picture




Read the poem on the left.  Then re-read it but start on the bottom line and read up to the first line.

Click here to return to top of page
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Services
  • BIBLE READINGS
  • Prayers
  • Weekly Notices
  • Contact Us
  • Safeguarding
  • Bookings
  • Baptisms
  • Weddings
  • Funerals
  • Church Hall
  • Newsletters
  • Craft Club
  • Bell Ringing
  • Open Table Lunch Club
  • Photo of the Week
  • Events
  • Fundraising
  • Parish of Wednesbury
  • History
  • Features and Facilities
  • Gallery
  • CHRISTMAS 2020
  • OTB